Jun 27 2005
Which Witch -- )APAUSICOTS( Proclamation

Lesser Beings,

We, the members of the All Powerful and Ultra Secret Inner Circle of the SpiralHeart )APAUSICOTS(, have followed with interest the etymological exegesis of "witch" being carried on by some of our lowlier sycophants on the discussion list.

While it is clear to Us that words have power beyond their limited capacity to convey information, We are not at all convinced that a general agreement amongst the greater pagan community about the meaning of the word in question matters in the least.

In an effort to demonstrate the rightness of our opinion, We engaged one of Our clandestine operatives (who We'll call "Billy Bob") to probe the sensibility of the wider public to the uses of the words witch, wiccan, pagan, etc. One section of Billy Bob's report dramatically elucidates the frippery of the current discourse. In a conversation with a member of an unnamed protestant denomination in the Mid-Atlantic region, the following attitude was expressed by
a subject when asked whether she drew any distinction between those who identified as "witch, wiccan or pagan". We quote.

"Hell, they's all evil -- witches, wiccans, catholics, jews -- whatever they call they'selves. 'Slong's they keeps to they'selves, we won't bother 'em, much." Grin. "But at the first sign of any trouble... Well, we know what to do with 'em, don't we?" Grin. "Crispy Critters."

Even We, the members of the All Powerful and Ultra Secret Inner Circle of the SpiralHeart )APAUSICOTS(, are appalled by the bluntness of this attitude.

Therefore, We issue the following Proclamation:

For the purposes of communications with the hoi polloi, We have chosen to henceforth refer to Ourselves as... Presbyterians.

We are sure that you are happy to have this controversy resolved and that you see the wisdom of our position.

(Don't look at Us like that.)

We remain in all things your superiors,

A Presbyterian Denomination

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